Hope

Love wins. I know that, in my head. If I look around, there is more good than evil, and more love than hate. But on days like today, on days when I hear tragic news, on days when I really think about how our loved ones can be taken from us, even our littlest loved ones, by senseless acts of violence, I don't see any of that. I don't see the good and the love, all I see is that we live in a broken world and I wonder where we're supposed to find hope.

If it was me, if my little girl that I love so much was taken from me today, without any warning whatsoever, where would I find hope? Would I find hope in the God that allowed her to die? Would I find hope in an afterlife that I can't see and where, for now, I'm still separated from her? Would I find hope in humanity, which includes the person who pulled the trigger? No, I don't think I would see hope in those places. My deepest desire, my absolute prayer, would be that eventually, after a very long while in which hopefully I would still be alive, I would start to see hope in the things around me - in other people that I love, in my own ability to love others well. That I would find redemption in the gift of life that is given to so many of us. But on a day like today, Lord forgive me, I don't think I could do it.